What is a Fulfilled Woman? How to Navigate Being a Wife, Mom, and Your Authentic Self

From a young age, many of us are told the same story about what it means to be a woman: get married, start a life with someone, have children, and that’s when you’ll be complete. It’s a familiar narrative we grow up hearing, and for a long time, I believed it—just like so many of us are taught to.

But, as I experienced firsthand, that path didn’t bring me the fulfillment I expected.

I had two difficult pregnancies that took a physical and emotional toll on me. I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water while navigating the challenges of motherhood. But even through all of this, I still clung to the idea that being a "good mom" meant sacrificing myself entirely for my children. I felt like I was already single parenting, juggling everything on my own, yet I never had any time for myself. I convinced myself that it was all worth it, but deep down, I knew something was off. I couldn’t put it into words at the time, but I was losing myself in the process.

Eventually, life hit me with a harsh wake-up call. I found myself standing in the middle of a divorce, feeling utterly lost. All of a sudden, everything I had known, all the roles I had wrapped myself in, were gone. The hardest part was when I lost my full-time role as a mom and had to adjust to 50/50 custody. I wasn’t just navigating the pain of divorce; I was also learning to redefine my relationship with my kids, adjusting to a new reality where I wasn’t there all the time. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had been so caught up in taking care of everyone else that I forgot to take care of me. I had given away all my power, all my energy, making sure everyone else was happy while I lost sight of what made me happy.

The Script We’re Expected to Follow

I’m not alone in being raised with this idea of what it means to be fulfilled. Growing up, there’s a very clear societal expectation that women’s worth is tied to marriage and motherhood. We’re not often taught to dream beyond those roles or encouraged to see ourselves as powerful individuals in our own right. We're told to focus on others—on being the "perfect" wife, mother, caregiver, and to find our identity in those roles.

We’re often told, either directly or indirectly, that a woman’s worth is rooted in how well she fulfills certain roles—wife, mother, caregiver, homemaker. These roles become the lens through which society expects us to measure our success and value. From a young age, we're bombarded with media images and cultural messages that reinforce this idea. Think about the TV shows, movies, and even the expectations set by our families—how often is the ideal woman depicted as someone who sacrifices her own needs for the happiness of others?

As we grow older, this narrative is reinforced by everything around us. We’re encouraged to strive for perfection in our caregiving roles—cooking the perfect meals, keeping a spotless home, ensuring everyone’s needs are met before our own. And the constant pressure to be “the perfect mom” often includes things like participating in every school event, keeping up with the latest parenting trends, and crafting a life that looks flawless on social media.

In relationships, we’re also subtly taught that being a good partner means giving up our individual identities and focusing on the needs of the relationship and the other person. We're often expected to do this with a smile, to make it look easy, and to remain selfless in the face of everything.

But in all of this, there’s a crucial message we’re not given: we don’t have to lose ourselves in these roles. Our value doesn’t lie in our ability to fulfill a societal checklist of "perfect womanhood." Yet, we're conditioned to believe that without doing so, we're somehow falling short.

This narrative doesn’t teach us how to prioritize ourselves, set healthy boundaries, or explore what it means to be us outside of all these roles. It teaches us to pour ourselves into everyone else, to get our sense of worth from their happiness, all the while ignoring the truth: we, too, deserve to be happy, seen, and valued for who we are beyond the roles we fill.

And when we step outside of that narrative, or dare to ask, Who am I beyond these roles? it can feel like we're doing something wrong.

No one teaches us how to be a woman in the full, powerful sense of the word. No one shows us how to value ourselves beyond the tasks we perform or how to create a life that feels meaningful and aligned with our desires—not someone else's. That was my reality for so many years.

My Journey Through the Script

I followed the script, thinking I was doing it the “right” way. I got married, had kids, dedicated myself to my family, and put everything I had into being the best wife and mother I could be. Now, don’t get me wrong—I love being a mother, and I took that role very seriously. I truly tried to be the “perfect” supermom, constantly giving, sacrificing, and doing everything in my power to make sure my kids and family were happy. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was being pressured to be perfect—to live up to a standard that didn’t leave room for me to simply be enough.

I didn’t realize that what I really needed was to settle into a deeper knowing inside myself that I was already good enough—without having to earn it through perfection or constant self-sacrifice.

I thought that fulfilling these roles was supposed to bring me joy and meaning. And at first, I convinced myself it did. And they still do, but oh I wish I knew what I know now about holding myself dear. 

But as time went on, I started feeling frustrated and unfulfilled. I didn’t even have the words for it at first. Something felt off. I had given everything—my time, my energy, my identity—to my family, yet I felt invisible. I had become financially dependent on my partner as a stay-at-home mom, which left me feeling stuck, powerless, and disconnected from any ambitions or desires that were mine.

There was also the constant double standard—the unspoken expectation that, as the mom, I had to sacrifice everything for my kids, while my partner didn’t face the same level of responsibility. It was exhausting. No matter how much I gave, it never felt like enough. And all the while, I was losing pieces of myself along the way.

The Wake-Up Call

Eventually, life threw me a harsh wake-up call in the form of a divorce. Everything I thought I knew, everything I had wrapped my identity around, was suddenly gone. I was forced to reexamine who I was outside of being a wife and mother. For the first time in years, I had to confront the fact that I didn’t know who I was anymore and I needed help in managing all the roles and expectations. 

When you look at statistics today, the reality is hard to ignore: divorce rates for first marriages hover around 40-50%. What if those odds are against us, and we invest so much in one person—emotionally, financially, and mentally—that we risk blind dependency in the name of “love”?

It’s a question many of us don’t ask because the dream of a perfect family, a happily-ever-after, is so deeply ingrained. But when you throw children into the mix, it adds a layer of complexity.

Are we unintentionally putting ourselves in a vulnerable position, believing that all our fulfillment and purpose should come from others, while not preparing for the possibility of change? 

What if, in creating this narrative for ourselves, we risk compromising our financial independence, our personal sense of self-worth, and the very foundation of our future well-being?

The Truth About Motherhood: Love and Struggle

Yes, I utterly love being a mom. But let’s be real: there are times when parenting is hard as hell. It’s not that I don’t want to be a mom; I do. But the truth is, we often romanticize motherhood and forget to acknowledge the reality—the exhaustion, the overwhelm, the sacrifice. It’s tough. And it’s not just about the day-to-day demands, but also the emotional weight of carrying the responsibility of raising children.

What I longed for—what I still believe is so important—is a supportive partner. A true teammate. Not someone who just “helps out,” but someone who shares the load—emotionally, physically, and financially. A supportive partner isn’t someone who expects their partner to carry all the weight of parenting and home life alone. Instead, they actively engage, communicate, and work together to navigate the challenges of life as a team.

A solid parent and teammate is someone who doesn’t sit back and expect their partner to take on the emotional and logistical load of raising children, often while also managing their own career and personal goals. They recognize the value of shared responsibilities—whether it’s caring for the kids, making decisions, or handling finances. They step up, not out of obligation, but because they want to be an active participant in shaping a balanced family dynamic. This kind of partnership creates an environment where both people can thrive, not just one, and the children grow up seeing the beauty of teamwork, collaboration, and respect.

Breaking the Mold

No one showed me how to value and cherish myself beyond the roles of mom and partner, or how to find fulfillment outside of the photo-ops and expectations. I had to learn these lessons the hard way, through trial and error, and by navigating the difficult journey of reclaiming my identity after losing myself in the chaos of divorce.

But I didn’t give up. I started asking myself some hard questions: “Who am I when I’m not being a mom? When I’m not being someone’s partner? What do I want?”  "How do I want my life and my kid's life to look like?" It took a lot of unlearning—unlearning all the conditioning I had absorbed from society, from my upbringing, and even from my own mind.

I had to let go of the belief that my worth was tied to how much I gave, how much I sacrificed, or how much I could do for others. I didn't have to be the perfect Pinterest Mom or the perfect "holiday card family" I saw on social media. I just had to be me, imperfect and real, and that was enough.

Through that process, I rediscovered self-love, but not in some pretty Instagram quote kind of way. This was a raw, down-in-the-dirt kind of self-love. It wasn’t about feeling good all the time, but about showing up for myself, even when I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I learned to stop waiting for others to validate me and started learning how to trust myself—how to trust my own needs, my own desires, my own wisdom.

I also learned how to set boundaries—to stop giving my power away to everyone else, to stop saying "yes" when I meant "no," to stop apologizing for taking up space. I stopped letting fear or guilt control my decisions. I learned how to be okay with the discomfort of not pleasing everyone, and in doing so, I finally started to honor myself.

Showing My Kids the Full Range of Life

And here's the most amazing part: my kids saw this transformation. They see a happy, energized woman now, a woman who takes care of herself, sets boundaries, and knows her worth. They’ve begun setting boundaries themselves, and I’ve watched them grow more confident and self-respecting as they see me lead by example. This has been one of the most powerful parts of my journey—breaking the cycle of people-pleasing and showing my kids what it truly means to live authentically.

As a parent, I have to remember something crucial—I’m not here to just model perfection. I need to show my kids the messy, the disappointments, and the challenges that life inevitably brings. I need to teach them how to deal with emotions, how to navigate hardship, and how to face failure. The reality is, life isn’t perfect, and neither am I. If I only present an image of a superhuman, ultra-sacrificing mom, I’m missing the opportunity to show my kids how to be fully human.

When I pretend that I’ve got it all together, I inadvertently teach my kids that they, too, must hide their struggles and emotions. I set an unrealistic standard that could leave them feeling ashamed or ill-prepared to handle their own setbacks.

But when I show up with vulnerability—when I share my feelings, my frustrations, and my mistakes—I give them the gift of realness. I teach them that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes, that emotions are a natural part of life, and that resilience doesn’t come from being perfect but from learning how to pick ourselves up after a fall.

In essence, I’m teaching them how to navigate the ups and downs of life with grace and self-acceptance. In the end, that’s what we all need—permission to be fully human, to experience life’s complexities, and to find strength not in perfection, but in authenticity.

I won’t lie—healing has been a long, ongoing process. It’s not something that happens overnight. But it’s been worth it. Now, I can say I am happy. I am living a life that aligns with who I truly am, not who I thought I should be. I don’t feel lost anymore. I know who I am, and I know I’m worthy of living a life that feels authentic and true to me.

Building a Strong Foundation: Skills for Success in Relationships, Roles, and Life

This isn’t about comparing motherhood to being childfree or saying one path is better than the other. It’s about navigating the many roles we play—whether as mothers, wives, professionals, or caregivers—without losing sight of who we are as individuals. The challenge lies in balancing these responsibilities while still maintaining our own identity.

Our worth isn’t defined by the roles we take on, but by how true we stay to ourselves while fulfilling them. Whether we’re raising children, managing a career, or nurturing relationships, the goal is to honor our personal needs, desires, and passions along the way. This conversation is about empowering women to navigate these roles with intention, to embrace the fullness of who we are, and to remember that we are whole and worthy—not because of what we do, but because of who we are.

Ultimately, it’s about learning the skills that set us up for greater success in relationships, roles, and life—skills like self-awareness, boundary-setting, emotional intelligence, and financial independence. These tools are essential for thriving in all aspects of life, no matter the path we take.

How Do We Protect Our Lives as Women?

I often found myself balancing multiple roles—partner, mother, caregiver, and professional—while being bombarded by society's expectations. The pressure to meet all of these demands, while still feeling fulfilled, can left me questioning: how do I avoid getting lost in it all? How do I protect my happiness, identity, and future while navigating the overwhelming task of “doing it all”?

Here's some of what I learned:

1. Learn to Prioritize Yourself
   Society might not tell us this, but we can’t pour from an empty cup. Don’t forget to invest in your own growth, happiness, and well-being. Take time to check in with yourself, your dreams, and your personal goals.

2. Don’t Buy Into Perfection
   The “perfect woman” myth is damaging. Stop trying to live up to an ideal that doesn’t exist. Be kind to yourself and embrace your imperfections. It’s okay to not have everything together all the time.

3. Create a Supportive Partnership
   A relationship shouldn’t be a one-sided sacrifice. Find a partner who values shared responsibilities—emotionally, physically, and financially. A true teammate uplifts and supports you, creating balance, not burden.

4. Understand Your Financial Independence
   Don’t rely on anyone else to manage your financial future. Whether single or in a partnership, understanding and taking charge of your finances is crucial to avoid unnecessary vulnerability.

5. Embrace Boundaries
   Setting boundaries is essential for protecting your energy and mental health. Know when to say “no” and when to advocate for your needs.

6. Trust Yourself
   Above all, trust your inner wisdom. You are the expert of your own life. Don’t let external voices drown out your own desires and intuition.

7. Don’t Fear Change
   Life is constantly evolving. Don’t fear change; instead, lean into it. Be prepared to adapt, learn, and grow with the changing seasons of life.

The secret to not "messing up" your life is not about perfection, but about creating a life that feels authentic, balanced, and fulfilling.

Why It’s Time to Redefine Fulfillment

The dominant cultural narrative still persists today, even if it doesn’t look exactly the same as it once did. We’re still told that fulfillment is found in marriage and motherhood, but as I learned through my own experience, that path doesn’t always lead to happiness. In fact, sometimes it can leave you feeling like you’ve sacrificed so much that you don’t even know who you are anymore.

No one ever told me how to navigate the complex balance of being a wife, a mom, and my own person. It’s not something we’re typically taught, yet it’s one of the most crucial things to realize.

For years, I lived by a script that wasn’t mine—shaped by societal expectations, external pressures, and what I thought others needed from me. But eventually, I realized that if I wanted true fulfillment, I had to take back my power. I had to learn new strategies—how to set boundaries, prioritize my own needs, and embrace my identity beyond the roles I was playing. It wasn’t just about reclaiming my life, but developing the skills to make it work in a way that felt authentic. I had to learn how to say “no” without guilt, how to set goals that were aligned with my true desires, and how to create space for me to grow.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything right and still feel unfulfilled, it might be time to ask yourself: Who am I beyond these roles? What skills can I learn now to set myself up for future success and build a life that truly reflects who I am?

It’s time to rewrite your story. It’s time to stop living according to others’ expectations and start creating a life that honors your true self.

Because, if you’re like I was, there’s a powerful, authentic version of you waiting to be discovered—a version of you that is more than the roles society expects you to play. You just have to give yourself permission to be her.

 Do you feel like you're constantly giving your power away to others, whether it's to meet their expectations, earn their approval, or avoid conflict? Do you find yourself living in a way that feels disconnected from your true desires, constantly juggling roles and never feeling like you're enough? If you’re ready to stop living for others and start living for yourself, then this course is for you.

In my course Who You Are Meant to Be, you’ll embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery that will reveal the subtle, yet powerful ways you may be giving your power away—whether through seeking external validation, ignoring your intuition, sacrificing your needs for others, or allowing fear and self-doubt to control your choices. You may not even realize how much of your energy you’ve been handing over, but deep down, you know it’s time to stop. Head over to the Store to purchase. 

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